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These are my ten “top secret” parenting tips I desperately wish someone had told me before the arrival of my first child.
When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I slipped in to a deep and wildly overwhelming rabbit hole of internet parenting articles. Shit like:
“562 MusT HAvEs before baby comes”
“This $4,000 stroller is worth EverY PenNy!!!!!”
“You’re Gonna Be Exhausted, But Here’s A Workout Routine to Start Right After Birth!”
And let me tell you, a lot of it is very convincing. You of course want the very best for this new life you’re bringing in to the world. Obviously you want to become the best version of yourself for your expanding family. It doesn’t have to bankrupt you or put your health at risk.
Reality Check
I have 2 daughters now, and when we brought our second daughter home, so many more things just *made sense*. A lot of the more nuanced parenting skills you really just have to learn on your own. No book or course or family member can teach you everything about your baby, and that’s ok!
That being said, I’ve compiled a small list of tips and tricks I wish I read or heard from an experienced friend before I had my first child. They would have saved me lots of money and probably a good chunk of my sanity, too.
Pro Parenting Tips
- I promise you don’t need to buy brand name everything. It is sooo tempting in today’s Instagrammable world to want the chicest, trendiest baby gear. I was DYING to have the Uppababy Vista stroller, but at $1,000+ it was a pipe dream. So, I did some research and found this Evenflo stroller that had all the same bells and whistles for 1/3 the price. Almost 3 years later and I have zero regrets.
- Speaking of strollers, always get a double. Unless you are 100% certain without a shadow of doubt that you only want 1 child, just get the double. My stroller is single to double (to triple!) but isn’t huge and is extremely easy to convert. Don’t waste money on a single stroller because you will be shopping for a double soon enough and kicking yourself the whole time.
- Measure your car before you buy a car seat! UGH – this is something I wish I knew was even a thing to consider before picking a car seat. I was so wrapped up in safety/longevity that I never paused to consider not all cars & car seats are equal. We went with this Graco convertible seat which fits comfortably behind the passenger seat (and is amazing on airplanes), but now that we have one rear facing and one infant seat in the back its cramped. It turns out our regular sized SUV has a slightly smaller back seat than the school bus sized SUVs. Taking 5 minutes to measure our back seat to compare to the dimensions of the car seats we were shopping for would have saved us from this current predicament. When we need to purchase a second convertible car seat, this will be the first step we take!
- Pick one or two things to invest in. Before you start your registry, sit down and really assess your budget and lifestyle. What do you want to invest in and what would you rather save money on? Do you travel a lot? Invest in a good portable crib. Spend lots of time outdoors? A long-lasting baby carrier is important. For me it was making sure the crib we chose could convert to at toddler bed. Absolutely everything else I was comfortable finding a budget version of. Things can be replaced/upgraded in time! I realized that a lot of the items I initially wanted to splurge on I either didn’t use as much as I thought, or the budget version worked perfectly.
- YOUR HEALTH AND SAFETY MATTERS TOO. This really deserves the top spot but I didn’t want to yell at you right off the bat. When my first daughter was born, I was killing myself trying to breastfeed and not only sacrificed my health and well being, but lost out on experiencing the joy of her newborn days. I was so caught up in “doing things right” that I neglected myself to the point of missing all the warning signs of PPD until it was bad. It is so important to prioritize yourself when it comes to the early weeks of motherhood. Don’t cast your needs aside, get help whenever you can, and remember that your baby can’t thrive if you aren’t thriving as well.
- Trust your instincts. That’s it. That’s the tip. Parenting is a wild rollercoaster of emotions and new skills to learn, but you know way more than you think. Go with your gut! And when in doubt, just call the pediatrician.
- Take all the photos and videos. But actually use your camera (phone)! Don’t just use Instagram or Snapchat – the quality isn’t the same, filters on babies and kids are yucky, and the ratios are weird. Take pictures of landmark events and mundane moments. They grow up SO FAST! I hate when people tell me that but its true. I take it a step further and actually print my photos in books for myself and as gifts for the grandparents. A double win!
- Death to snaps. There are so many cute baby clothes out there! The only thing I will buy with snaps are onesies. With my first, I heard the warnings and ignored them for the sake of some really precious little baby outfits. What I didn’t predict was how hard it is to snap 32 snaps when you have a wiggly baby (or its 3AM and your eyes won’t open all the way). Don’t fall for it. Only get jammies with zippers. Or, god forbid, you see something cute with buttons??? RUN AWAY. Zippers only.
- Make freezer meals in advance. You will not feel like it. You will probably hate it while you’re doing it. But OMG you will loooooooove that you did it when you’ve slept for 6.5 minutes all day and need to eat. I went to my favorite resource Pinterest and searched for some easy comfort food recipes that I could make and freeze in bulk and it was a lifesaver. Take-out is ok for a while but you shockingly get sick of it really quickly. Plus, after a few days of hospital food, you really crave a nice home cooked meal.
- Hold your baby. Last but never least! There are so many articles and courses on getting babies to sleep in their cribs from 2 weeks old and blah blah blah. If you want to hold your baby while they nap (safely) then do it. Dishes can wait, laundry can wait. Baby snuggles cured every bad mood and every tough day I had instantly. Watching them nuzzle in your arm and doze off is euphoric. Sleeping by themselves will happen eventually – your aren’t ruining them or spoiling them. You just waited at least 9 months to get your baby earth side. Snuggle them all you want!
Read Them Again.
Did you learn anything new? Gain a different perspective on anything? Let me know in the comments – and share if you think I missed a gem parenting tip, too! I’m always learning 😊
